The Ancient Art of "Me-Time"

The Ancient Art of “Me-Time”

 

Here I am, sitting in my living room, nursing my little butter bean at 8 am on a Tuesday. On any typical day, I would still be in bed at this time. What makes today any different, you ask? Oh, nothing special. Just the fact that one of our little gremlins threw my husbands truck keys in the trash, so we spent 35 minutes destroying the ENTIRE house looking for them. Normally, I would go straight back to sleep, but I had already invested too much energy into the day. So here I am, soaking in the morning rays beaming through my window, thinking…. and enjoying this rare moment of “me-time”.

How often do I get real QUIET time? And why don’t I get more of it!?

 

The Ancient Art of "Me-Time"

As y’all know by now, my kids (ages 4, 2, and 1) are a handful and a half. They wake up around 9 am daily. Right now, I only have one little who is NOT participating in the nap strike.

Yup, you guessed it. I don’t get a break.

All day long someone is demanding more and more of me and what I have to offer. Food. Drink. Help going potty. Turning on a movie. Tying shoes. More food. Cuddles. School. Boob. Another drink. Changing the movie. More food. Diaper. Reading a book.

It literally never ends.

Now, don’t get my wrong. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE that I am able to stay home with my babies. I LOVE that we aren’t having to pay someone else to teach and raise our children.

But I am tired, touched out, stressed and mentally exhausted.

The Ancient Art of "Me-Time"

When a friend of mine asked me to do a blog post on the topic of “me-time”, my first thought was, “This will be EASY!” However, the more I thought about it and really contemplated what it meant to me and what I did for my own “me-time”, I quickly realized that I was clueless!

I am apart of SEVERAL mom groups on Facebook, and they all have one thing in common (aside from the fact that they’re full of moms). These groups are FULL of women who have a long list of people with needs that they feel they need to meet, and a growing list of their own needs that aren’t being met!

When I asked one particular group what their personal views were on “me-time” and how they find time for it, the most common response of all was, “Me time? What is that?”

SO many mamas are giving everything they have to the people all around them, and aren’t getting/taking time for themselves. And I am one of those mamas.

The Ancient Art of "Me-Time"

I’m a wife. A mom. A friend. A sister.

I cook, nurse, organize, and play.

My job is to teach, chauffeur, and clean.

I kiss boo boos, give hugs, and LOVE with every fiber of my being.

I do what I do because of these little people.

And love every second.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be me.

When a woman becomes a mother, something shifts…

Once a woman gives birth, it seems like she gains a whole new identity. While sometimes, she loses bits and pieces, if not all, of who she once was. She spends so much time doing for others that she forgets what it is that she enjoys! Just a little bit of “me-time” in the week, and she has the chance to rediscover herself!

The Ancient Art of "Me-Time"

MY “me-time”

I’ve spent most of my day thinking about what “me-time” is to me and how I find time for it.

“Me-time” is literally any time that I have to THINK without being interrupted forty time before I can complete a full thought. It’s when I have time to EAT without having to share half of my food with another little person. It’s when I have time to DRINK my coffee before it gets cold.

It doesn’t have to cost money. Also, it doesn’t have to involve leaving the house (even though that would be really nice).

For some “me-time” includes a spa day, mani-pedis, shopping, and lunch dates with girlfriends.

However, for ME: a little bit of quiet time to read my Bible and pray. Some time to brainstorm and blog. A shower EVERY DAY. Hot coffee. Ice cream. A WalMart date with me, myself, and I. And maybe one day a month to sleep in.

Consequently, if we wait for the opportunity to have some time to save our sanity, that moment may never come. When it comes to self-care, sometimes we just need to MAKE and TAKE our own breaks.

Ultimately, everyone around us benefits from us taking a mental break. We owe it to ourselves to REST. Self-care, “me time”, or whatever else you want to call it should NOT come off as a foreign language to ANYYYY mama.

Therefore, if you need a break, tell someone. If they don’t want to help, tell someone else. So, don’t be ashamed for thinking and feeling like you need help when we ALL do. There is another mama out there that will understand and will help you out.

If you have any thoughts on self-care and want to share tips on how YOU get some “me-time” leave a comment!

Ariel King is a Stay-At-Home mom to her three children, Lana, Ace, and Norah. Writing and researching are two of her biggest passions. People say that she is full of all kinds of useless knowledge, and it is even rumored she has a Google PhD. She is not a typical mainstream mom, imperfect in every way, but is on a mission to encourage and inspire other moms. Her belief is that no one should feel alone in the day to day of motherhood.

16 thoughts on “The Ancient Art of “Me-Time”

  1. This post made me laugh out loud! We had a very similar incident with our car key recently, I found ours in the washing machine! I rarely get me time. My husband works away too so sometimes it just the kids and I..

  2. For us it weren’t the car keys but a magically vanished couch pillow (I seriously was thinking about changing our locks) – toddler innocent and mom guilty (I put it in a box and simply FORGOT) <- that happens when there's not enough me time 😉
    I love to stay awake when everyone else goes to bed which is not really the greatest tip because you have a lack of sleep BUT these quiet hours at night are my realm.

  3. I try to take time each night to clear my thoughts. In the warmer months I like to go for walks after dinner. But, in the winter, I sometimes just hide in the bedroom with a book.

  4. I can relate to EVERY word you wrote. my oldest – twins – are not 7, my youngest is 5. It took me almost 7 years to regain those peaces I lost – the ones you wrote about – after I became a mother. What got me through is knowing that these phase is so temporary, they grow up SO fast,, and suddenly they are little people who are independent and can actually let me complete a whole thought: I remember myself walking in the house to get something and forgetting what it was because someone was calling mom constantly at the 1 minute it took me to walk down the hollowly. The “me” time I had consisted of a quiet shower after they went to bed, watching something on TV before I dosed off, eating dinner with the husband after they go to bed. I didn’t have the energy for more then that. Every now and then on special occasion our parents would watch the kids so we can get out of the house – and let me tell you – it was a real struggle not to just crawl to bed and sleep peacefully knowing someone else is there to watch them.

    1. So glad you were able to relate!
      YES. I forget stuff ALL the time for the same reason and my husband just doesn’t understand. Us moms have to stick together because no one else will ever empathize and understand better than another mama in the trenches with us. 💞

  5. So insightful. Sometimes I just want to cry. My “me time” is non-existent right now with 2 under 2 but I’m doing my best. Thank you for the insight. I’m not the only one! 🤣☺️

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